Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
