and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
