Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
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I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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