Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
