The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
