Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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