everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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