try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
