He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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