somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize