i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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