he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
