bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
