I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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