Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
