I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
