have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
