The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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