We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
