I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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