i may or may not be watching the land before time
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
