so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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