P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
