I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
