I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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