Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
