Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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