I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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