conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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