Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
