Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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