like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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