yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wanna go halves on a baby?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
