Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
