I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
