Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
