Your face is a jimmy john
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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