After last night, I could never be a politician.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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