Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
