Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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