I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
