So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We have so much sex to catch up on
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
