We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
