I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
worst night to have a conscience
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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