Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
