I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
