i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I did not marry a roomba.
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