Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
