OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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