She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He shit in the fireplace
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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