Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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