Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
