how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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