you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
COCAINE IS GR8
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
