Pappa wants mamma naked
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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