you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
