i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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