did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
